My Best Friend Kissed My Boyfriend

To find out what it’s like on behind the doors of Peer Mediation, two reporters stage drama to see how mediators really act to solve the problem.

Zoe Vergara, Reporter

     A freshman at River City recently celebrated her 15th birthday with her friends, when the unimaginable happened.

 

     Her best friend was found kissing her boyfriend. When the freshman found out what her best friend had done, she snapchatted her a message that their friendship had been ruined. Going back and forth, the two freshman threatened to beat each other up.

 

     With the problem still at hand, they decided to go to peer meditation to try and resolve the issues and save their friendship.

 

     Okay, so this never really happened, but problems like this come up all the time at River City. When they do, The Peer Mediation room is a common place where students go to seek help without having to go to an adult.

 

     Fortunately, not many students have the opportunity to go to a peer mediation to solve their issues with others. Luckily for them, they do not have to deal with the drama and stress of being taken out of class to fix a problem. Even though not having to ever need a mediation is a great thing, a number of  students wonder how it feels to be involved in one.

 

     “I always wonder what it’s like to be in peer mediation because people get all the tea about it so that kind of made me want to do it,” freshman, Lilu Montoya, shared.

 

     The contract of a mediation states that no mediators or participants are allowed to speak about any part of the mediation after it is over.

 

     I’ve already written a story about what peer mediation is like on the outside, as a class, but I wanted to dig a little deeper and let the audience know what it’s like to be involved in one.

 

     During the month of April, fellow reporter Luz Camacho and I prepared an entire script and detailed plan of action to be sent to peer meditation to see what mediators act like under pressure.

 

     On April 29, we were finally called in by two mediators. The mediators asked to not be identified by name in this story.

 

     My mediator greeted me by saying, “Hi, do you know why you’re being called for a mediation?”

 

     After explaining our situation–the birthday party, the boyfriend, the threats on social media–we entered a room in the office where they sat me away from Luz. The mediators talked to each other for a moment, discussing who would have to write the contract for our mediation.

 

     “Do you want to write the contract? Do you trust yourself enough to do that?” one mediator asked the other.

 

     They began by asking us questions about whether or not we ever considered harming ourselves or others and keeping the meditation private, and they would not move on without our verbal answers.

 

     After sharing our sides of the story, Luz and I started to speak over each other and made the conversation more intense to see how the mediators could handle it.

 

     “You guys have to calm down and only talk to us,” the mediators said, taking control of the problem.

 

     As we started to go into details about what happened, the mediators asked to show them text conversations that Luz and I made, where we claimed to beat each other up. At this point in the meditation, the mediators were clearly biased to my side, being that I played the victim.

 

     The mediators laughed a lot, while we were arguing with each other, and one of the mediators said, “First of all, girl you need some new friends.”

 

     They both made us feel sure that no one was really fully to blame, by using phrases like, “But I understand where you are coming from.” Even though the mediators were mainly on my side, they still tried to support both of us and help us see eye to eye.

 

     As the mediation started to escalate, the mediators didn’t hesitate to use foul language to express their thoughts while we were explaining to them why we had this issue in the first place. I told my mediator that my boyfriend offered to accompany my best friend while she went to grab towels upstairs.

 

     “What the f*** is you doing in the first place? Like he don’t need to go with her to get something,” one of the mediators shared. Her opinion helped us know how to react to this situation if it were to happen again.

 

     ¨Her saying this made me feel angry because she kind of put the blame on me,” Camacho explained.

 

     After the problem seemed to be solved and we were all able to come to an agreement, the mediator wrote down our contract and made rules for us to follow. The rules varied from promising to always tell each other how we feel, agreeing to keep each other on social media, no fighting on or off campus, and no speaking of this outside of the meditation.

 

     Right before we were about to sign the contract, Luz and I shared our secret, undercover plan with the mediators. They quickly got up, laughed, and apologized for them not being on their “A Game.”

 

     One of the mediators replied, “This is the worst mediation  I’ve ever done. I’m usually a lot better than this but today I was like, ‘F*** it, I don’t even give a f***, I’m sorry’.”

 

     “I felt something weird. I didn’t know if it was just me, but I was just looking around like what the f***,” the other mediator added.

 

     I thought that the mediators did a lousy job trying to cover up for themselves. From personal experience in being in a mediation with one of these mediators, I believe what she said when she apologized because in previous mediations she has been really helpful and proactive.

 

     Overall, this experience allowed Luz and I to expose what it feels like being apart of a peer meditation.

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